Thursday, January 20, 2011

Work force of a TV? I dunno, ask my teacher.

Yesterday, a physics teacher told us that if you double the diameter, you also double the area. No. The diameter is the derivative of area. Better said, area is exponnential. What does this mean? It means you calculate it with a formula to the second power. (btw, area = (pi x r^2)

It's like at work. A customer will ask you a question, and then try (and fail) to correct you when you answer. ("No. 500 GB is definitely bigger than 1TB... I mean... there's just one right?") Um... no sir... no. See 1TB is 1000GB. "Oh..." (points at another one) "I'll just take this one instead." I think the reason we aren't on comission is because they know damn well that we would sell the most expensive things, cause they're better ya know... ;)

I'm currently sitting at the school cafeteria, empty plate next to me and writing. Meanwhile, my friend is using his mobile phone to browse and peruse Facebook. I think if I looked in a synonym dictionnary it would say "pest", "bother", and "Mark Zuckerberg sucks" not sure about the last one... they might be seperate entries.

Facebook is seriously the world's most useless website. So of course, everybody is on it. Third world countries have it. People there don't have the internet, but I still found Clitora on Facebook. (see last article) I don't particularly believe in it... I have my friends, I comment on their status and make my own... Frankly, I should just use Twitter. It does the same thingb. In fact, let's all move to Twitter and use it rather than Facebook. Just add photos and video to Twitter. Leave out the stupid apps, espescially FarmVille and Family Feud... I'm sorry, but I do not want to buy you a new shovel, or give you a rooster and I do not want to make you win points on a game where said points get you *nothing*. Playing Family Feud makes you feel like one of two things. A) You know people very well. B) You don't. And if you're on the actual show, C) Your family breathes from the mouth and was once on Jerry Springer.

Has anyone noticed that game shows suck immensely as of late? I mean come on. Deal or no deal? When I first saw the little teaser trailer, I thought it would be like Fear Factor. Nope. But I do have an optimal question for you all. Are you smarter than a fifth grader? Oh, keep in mind that said fifth grader has gotten 100% on every single test and only cheated twice. What happened to the good shows? You know like... The Price is Right? Let's Make a Deal? Oh yes I remember... the ex- whose line is it anyway fodder host them now.

There's a reason I just stream TV shows. Cause if they suck, I can hit the x button. It's far more satisfying then changing the channel, because you know that if you hit the up button, you're gonn a find something that sucks. And if you hit the down button, you're going to go back to your guilty pleasure... Dr. Oz.

Tell you what, next post, I'm going to go on a rant about Dr. Oz. It is going to be so terrible that you'll think he's a lawyer.

Until next time, practice makes perfect, but that doesn't give you an excuse.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011


Disclaimer: Before I start this article, I in no way intend to be racist in this article. If you find any content offensive I profusely apologize for its existence. But it's staying there. (and your way out is the X on the top right of your screen) There's also a comment section down below the article, where you can chirp my race as much as you like.

This post is about names. How did you get your name? What does it mean? My name is an Irish name that stands for nobleman.  Sounds interesting enough. So one day my father and I had an argument. We couldn'td agree as to whether or not a name was infact... real. Now anyone who watched Survivor will remember Naonka. Pretty sure she burned socks or something. But anyways... My dad goes on this tangeant as to how African people invent names. I was adamant at first. African names mean something in African. (Naonka = dumb cow?)

Well, Naonka doesn't mean anything. A Google search will turn up nothing but the Survivor website and blogs that go on about how much they hate her. Theories about why she was even cast on the show. I myself, called Mark Burnet: "Jerry". Point is, I started doing a bit more research. Turns out there have been court trials about things like this.

But imagine, you just had a child. Now, what are you gonna name them. Put that baby names book away, you're doing this from scratch. Now what the hell are you gonna tell the child when he asks why his name is "Sohcahtoa"? I can see it now: "Child, your head was in the shape of a triangle..." But nothing, absolutely nothing, compares to this one.

The Jackson family (no relation, don't even ask) was trying to defend the name they invented for their daughter. Hell I would too. If I named my child Takeesha or Jenivory or something. But please, concede defeat Jackson family. Your daughter Clitora will thank you.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

You can't fix stupid.

There's an old saying that goes a little something like this. "There's alot of things you can fix, but ya can't fix stupid." While that probably had something to do with duct tape, the saying is still rather true. Intelligence has no strict definition but some would define it as the ability to adapt and the ability to learn. Sound about right? Ok great. So how do you fix someone who can't adapt and can't learn? Point proven. Now given, humans have this ability. Right? Right?!

Well let's start from here...

I work at the hallow of stupidity. The desolate land of lack of intellect. A place where your brain gets hidden somewhere between the shoe department and the ladies' wear department. If you thought Wal-mart. Good job. Now you might understand where the inspiration to write such a blog came from. I deal with customers all day. Now I'm not saying that all of them are stupid. No I have seen plenty of intelligent people pass through. But the ones who ask a lot of questions are the ones that I get to deal with. Would you call Wal-mart to find help to program your universal remote? I wouldn't. Hell, would you call Wal-mart at all? Now, we all pay taxes. But some people don't seem to agree on the idea of doing so. One lady tried to do anything to lower her total bill. Tried to trick me into giving her a better price (which I can't do anyways), and this takes the cake, tried to convince me that the subtotal was how much she owed me, rather than the total after taxes. It took me ten minutes to convince said person that taxes need to be paid.

Sometimes though, they say things that just make me shake my head and want to say something. Ever hear of the Children's Miracle Network? You know... that charity that builds Children's Hospitals, finances medical research, and raises awareness of medical issues revolving around kids. Now someone tried to convince me (after I asked him if he wanted to give a small donation to the charity) that they are a bunch of thieves and that they "only give to the rich". And not only that but he's seen them do it. Wow. Talk about talking out of your ass. Talk much more out of there and they'd have to fumigate the store from all the shit coming out of it. The CMN has a rating of 4 stars out of 4 on the BBB's (Better Business Bureau) Wise Giving Alliance rating system. According to other sources, 89.1% of all money raised goes directly to programming. Other funding goes towards keeping the charity afloat. They have raised over $3 billion and they distribute that to a network of hospitals in North America. Thievery, I say. But like the town herald, he kept loud-mouthing as to how they steal your money.

Feeling smart? Comment on my blog post and give me your opinion. Or better yet, tell me your stories of stupidity. Until next time, keep fit and have fun... um...